Thursday, September 3, 2009

Um.... Spanish was good. Recognized one person (and, of course, my teacher). This will be my hardest Spanish class yet-but it should be fun. The rest of my day was kind of boring. But it was nice to chill, I guess.

I'm feeling so isolated these days. Like all of my friends have daily connections (i.e., they're at the same school) or they have all this fun togetherness, and I just feel... left out. Forgotten. Lonely. I know I SHOULD be content that God won't leave me, but that's easier said than done, not gonna lie. :-/ And it sucks, the people that I WANT to hang out with the most are the ones that are the least available or willing to let me hang with them.

And... I feel crushed that, to my memory, not a single male outside of the family has ever called me beautiful. All of my female friends have been called beautiful by a male... except for me. And I don't want to hear crap about how it shouldn't matter, it DOES matter to me. In my 19 years of existence, a male has never called me beautiful. What is wrong with me?!?!

Well, that was angst-ridden, depressing, and emo. I shouldn't be, especially since I'm going to the city tomorrow. I swear, one moment I'll be in an inconsolable funk, the next I'm totally fine. I hope these emotional mood-swings go away soon, or at least subside.

Ashley